We’re polishing our armour this week. Not a chore, thankfully, that most households have to deal with nowadays. It is, however, a sizable task at Knebworth House. All the breastplates, swords and shields are off the wall, ready for a vigourous rubbing until their lustre is restored. What do we use to ensure that long-lasting shine? Well, it’s down to Halfords for some tubes of Autosol. You can imagine the expression of the Halford’s salesman when Clare, our archivist, explains what it is for. Henry V, you can be sure, wished he had a Halfords in town.
The miracles of Autosol sadly won’t help the Regency prints that were damaged last month, when a piece of crumbling stucco fell into one of the roof drains prior to the heavy rain storm. It is not the first time I have been woken at 2:30 in the morning by a waterfall coming through my bedroom ceiling, and I’m sure it won’t be the last. Unfortunately this time the volume of water was such that it penetrated through into the lower floors, most seriously into Mrs Bulwer’s bedroom, which preserves the exact wall decorations the dowager left when she died in 1843. In the lower floors the waterfall becomes a stream, spread the width of the wall. What best to catch the flow of rainwater down a bedroom wall? – Why, a stainless steel fish kettle, available from M&S for £39.50. This Henry, you can be sure, is pleased there is an M&S in town.
If you are not joining us for our Christmas Carol readings on 16th, 17th and 18th, may I take this opportunity to wish you a very Happy – shiny armoured and dry bedroomed – Christmas!
Henry Lytton Cobbold
www.knebworthhouse.com